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Brian Beasley is the Legal Adviser for the High Point Police Department in High Point, North Carolina. In order to justify his exorbitant (not really) salary and keep his officers informed of the latest changes in the law, he writes legal updates from time to time. Brian knows that officers aren’t generally enthusiastic about reading something entitled “Legal Update” so he tries to include some humorous footnotes to encourage them. Since he began writing these updates, officers from other agencies have asked to be added to the mailing list, but Brian decided that creating a blog was by far a more arrogant and geeky option.

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    Santa Claus Is Coming To Town!

    19 Dec

    Posted by Brian Beasley In Legal Update

    To download a PDF file of this update, click here

    “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”:
    Legal Issues Inspired By The Christmas Song
    Legal Question of The Week

    Vol. 1, Number 24
    December 19, 2008 

    Brian Beasley
    Caroler and Legal Adviser, HPPD 

                Here in the legal office, we have been lamenting the fact that because every recording artist1 who has ever released a song since 1942 has also seen fit to grace the listening public with a “special” Christmas2 CD, there exists a mountain of mediocre and really bad renditions of Christmas music that is constantly played on the radio at this time of year.  Do we really need 25,000 different versions of “Jingle Bell Rock?”  But in the midst of all the clutter, there are a few classics.  Here’s one that also lends itself to some legal commentary… Read More

    1. I use this term loosely enough to include “artists” like the Muppets, Alvin and Chipmunks, Michael Bolton, Meatloaf, and Porky Pig (whose rendition of “Blue Christmas” is actually one of my favorites.) ↩
    2. Or the winter holiday of your choice.  Signed, the ACLU. ↩
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    A Christmas Hodgepodge

    11 Dec

    Posted by Brian Beasley In Legal Update

    To download a PDF file of this update, click here

    Christmas Hodgepodge:1
    Four Little Legal Issues
    Legal Question of The Week

    Vol. 1, Number 23
    December 11, 2008 

    Brian Beasley
    Cornucopia2 of Knowledge and Legal Adviser, HPPD

    Many times officers or other strange people will stop by my office and ask a question that is both interesting and thought-provoking.  Often I will know immediately that it would be a good subject for the Legal Question of the Week bulletin.  Recently though, I have fielded several questions that have been neither interesting nor thought-provoking, the kind that lend themselves to a simple answer or a quizzical stare.  This legal update deals with the questions that fall in between those two extremes.  They may be interesting, but lend themselves to a simple answer.  I have taken four such questions and crammed them together into this Legal Question Hodgepodge.3 Read More

    1. Definition:  “A heterogeneous mixture.” ↩
    2. Definition:  “An inexhaustible store.” ↩
    3. I had considered calling this update “Christmas Potpourri” (definition: a miscellaneous collection) but decided against it.  Although the definition more closely fits, it simply sounds manlier to say “hodgepodge” than it does to say “potpourri.”  Try it yourself.  By the way, for those of you in Street Crimes, the “t” is silent in “potpourri.” ↩
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    Don’t Go There! The Jessica Lunsford Law and Sex Offenders

    05 Dec

    Posted by Brian Beasley In Legal Update

    To download a PDF file of this update, click here

    Don’t Go There!:
    The New Jessica Lunsford Law and Sex Offenders
    Legal Question of The Week

    Vol. 1, Number 22
    December 5, 2008 

    Brian Beasley
    Registered Attorney and Legal Adviser, HPPD 

    Aaahhh….Christmastime1 is upon us once again.  Every year at this time our thoughts turn to presents, and eggnog, and wreaths, and decorated trees, and sex offenders, and Santa Claus, and snowflakes, and….sex offenders?!  Okay, so sex offenders and Christmas don’t really go together, but here in the Legal Office, we are up to our armpits in registered sex offenders.2  What I mean to say is that we are up to our armpits in new laws concerning sex offenders.  And when there are new laws, there need to be new legal updates.

    Four whole days ago on December 1, 2008, two main pieces of legislation went into effect which deal with the rights or lack thereof of registered sex offenders in our state.  The first, called the Jessica Lunsford3 law, deals with locations where registered sex offenders may no longer go while the second regulates registered sex offenders and social networking internet sites, such as MySpace and Facebook. Read More

    1. Or your winter holiday of choice.  Sincerely, Mr. PC. ↩
    2. And if they come up to my armpits, you know that they are completely covering Lt. Myers. ↩
    3. If you wish, of course, you may read the story of Jessica Lunsford online.  I advise against it as it will disgust you and make your blood pressure skyrocket.  Suffice it to say, she was a little girl who was victimized by a convicted sex offender. ↩
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