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Brian Beasley is the Legal Adviser for the High Point Police Department in High Point, North Carolina. In order to justify his exorbitant (not really) salary and keep his officers informed of the latest changes in the law, he writes legal updates from time to time. Brian knows that officers aren’t generally enthusiastic about reading something entitled “Legal Update” so he tries to include some humorous footnotes to encourage them. Since he began writing these updates, officers from other agencies have asked to be added to the mailing list, but Brian decided that creating a blog was by far a more arrogant and geeky option.

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    The Law on Brouhahas – Disorderly Conduct

    31 Jul

    Posted by Brian Beasley In Legal Update

    To download a PDF file of this update, click here

    The Law On Brouhahas:1
    Disorderly Conduct, “Your Mama,” and Fighting Words
    Legal Question of The Week

    Vol. 2, Number 17
    July 31, 2009 

    Brian Beasley
    Stranger in His Own Home and Legal Adviser, HPPD

                Before we get into our “real” topic for the week, let’s take care of a housekeeping matter.  For those of you who carefully read all of my legal updates, I am sure that you both are anticipating the results of the “Think of a Better Name for a Strip Search” contest announced in this space two weeks ago.2  I am pleased to say that we had several good entries and it was hard to choose a winner, yada yada yada, but the winner is High Point Police Officer (and Interdiction Guru) Andrew Lanier who suggested the term “Peek-a-boo Search.”3  Our Records Supervisor, Linda Hodgson, was a close second with “Dangle Search”4 and Special Investigations Captain Tony Hamrick wins an honorary mention for submitting seven (7) possibilities including the “Semi-bare Search.”  Andrew is the proud recipient of 100 points from the legal office.5 Read More

    1. HPPD’s very own Lee Hunt suggested the topic for this week and challenged, even dared, me to use the word “brouhaha” in this week’s update.  To him, I respond by pointing out that I not only used it in the update, I put it in the TITLE.  Ka-boom. ↩
    2. Those of you who don’t know what I am talking about are the same folks who lived blissfully ignorant of the fact that for about three months we couldn’t charge people with violating an ex parte domestic violence protective order.  But you probably aren’t reading this either, so it would be a waste of time to explain. ↩
    3. Remember that the idea was to have a euphemistic name that sounded much more benign than a “strip search.”  What could be more benign than a carefree game of peek-a-boo? ↩
    4. This might have won except it brought up too many bad mental images – I’m not sure exactly what’s supposed to be dangling… ↩
    5. Void where prohibited.  Not valid on days that end with the letter “y.”  Must be over 18 or have an adult’s permission.  Not valid with any other legal office offer.  Redeemable for cash at the rate of 1/100 of a cent.  No purchase necessary.  For a copy of all rules, send a self-addressed stamped envelope filled with large bills of good and lawful U.S. Currency to the legal office. ↩
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    School Strip Searches

    16 Jul

    Posted by Brian Beasley In Legal Update

    To download a PDF file of this update, click here

    School Strip Searches:
    Sensational Scandal Supports Surprising Supreme Solution
    Legal Question of The Week

    Vol. 2, Number 16
    July 16, 2009 

    Brian Beasley
    Spectacular Schemer and Legal Adviser, HPPD

    Last week, I had the distinct honor and privilege to be a legal instructor at the North Carolina Association of School Resource Officers’ annual conference.  When I was invited to do this, I eagerly accepted because of the high esteem I hold for our SROs.1  I prepared a solid block of instruction on “Civil Liabilities and SROs,” and sent a copy of a 22 page handout to the Justice Academy for distribution to the attendees.  Then, the week before I was to head down to the beach, true to my usual good fortune, the U.S. Supreme Court issued their first big school law related case in years, making part of my elaborately designed packet obsolete before I even had a chance to teach it.

    The case was Safford Unified School District v. Redding and it involved the strip search of a thirteen year old honors student by school officials looking for ibuprofen.  At least, that’s how it was reported in the news media.2  The actual facts of the case make it sound a little less sinister, although the Supreme Court ultimately ruled that the search was unreasonable and thus, unconstitutional. Read More

    1. The fact that it was being held at the Sea Trails resort at Sunset Beach, NC had a little something to do with my acceptance as well. ↩
    2. Please, please, please do not ever rely on news reports for your legal advice.  Unless they have a legal degree or at least a legal background, most reporters easily misunderstand what happens in a courtroom or the ramifications of a court opinion.  For that matter, so do some lawyers. ↩
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    Anonymous Tips – What Are They Good For?

    02 Jul

    Posted by Brian Beasley In Legal Update

    To download a PDF file of this update, click here

    Anonymous Tips:  What Are They Good For?
    Legal Question of The Week

    Vol. 2, Number 15
    July 2, 2009 

    Brian Beasley
    Too Famous To Be Anonymous and Legal Adviser, HPPD 

                “[Thomas] Paine didn’t hide his identity to be cute or clever.  He did it so he wouldn’t be thrown in jail or put to death.  Anonymity is a key component to free speech and political discord.”

                                                                                        – Adam Thierer1

                Another Independence Day is upon us already, which means that grills are firing up, fireworks are lighting up, and families are packing up to go on vacation.  In honor of our nation’s birthday, I thought I might launch into an in depth discourse of our hard fought freedoms under the First Amendment, but when I mentioned it to the rest of the legal office, their response was thunderous.  They said, “It’s unanimous2 that all of us, even the hippopotamus and rhinoceros, believe it would be ominous and in fact dangerous for you to bore us with such a ponderous topic.”  At that moment, the Chief knocked on my office door and I awoke with a start from my dream.

                Shortly thereafter, I decided that anonymous tips and their value would make a much more practical update.  Free of charge, I’ll also throw in some quotes I found about anonymity that you might enjoy. Read More

    1. Adam Thierer is a Senior Fellow and Director for the Center for Digital Media Freedom, a think tank whose mission statement is to “protect America’s sacred First Amendment heritage and promote enlightened public policy regarding all forms of communications.”  They’re against governmental controls on media, especially the internet and new technological ways of communicating.  I don’t know about all that stuff, but I like the quote – so there you are.  If you don’t know who Thomas Paine is, shame on you!  You obviously weren’t paying attention in American History 101. ↩
    2. I know someone who has a lot of trouble saying “unanimous” and “anonymous” out loud right after each other.  Can you do it?  Now try “cinnamon” and “synonym.”  Now realize how stupid you look to everyone around you. ↩
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